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January 2020 Review & Recap

For about 9 days before New Year's Eve 2019, I embarked on a family vacation a little more than a couple of states away from my home state. The bright side of the trip was that I got to see my friend after 4 years since our last meeting, and 5 years since we met. Otherwise, I'd rather have stayed alone at the house the entire time. Only because the primary focus of the trip was to go hiking and exploring places but I was not having it. The temperature was miserably cold and I prefer spending time in nature other ways. I was very happy to finally come back to the house and reunite with my fish babies. Anxiety is the worst. I don't particularly like to use the S word, but anxiety is a really good vacuum. I go about my day thinking everybody in the entire world hates me and my existence and thinks I'm a loser. I'm usually, or at least used to be, really good about pushing bad thoughts away and thinking on the bright side. But I haven't felt genuinely happy in a w

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