A Tip or Two to Joy for You

TIPS ON LEADING A HAPPIER LIFE :)

I've been using this method for as long as I can remember before I realized it. Whenever something bad happened, I always found myself "looking at the bright side" of the situation. If we were stuck in the middle of nowhere with a flat tire on the van, I would think of something like, "At least we're all alive and nobody's hurt." If I'd gotten in a disagreement with a family member or friend, I would tell myself, "At least so-and-so isn't mad at me." Over time, the positivity tactic was embedded in me, so much so that I can even recall my sister getting mad at me for always coming up with "at least" statements. Perhaps it can be a bit much, but this technique has definitely done tons for me in coping.

I read this somewhere and have not forgotten it since. Self-deprecating comments to oneself can be pretty depressing, but even more so when you hear them come from someone else. What's the difference between you calling yourself ugly and someone else saying the exact same thing? Exhibit A: "I'm ugly." Exhibit B: "You're ugly." Words make much more of an impact when they're used with second-person perspective. Why not switch that fact around and use it to improve your self-esteem and mood? Think to yourself, whisper to yourself, heck, go ahead and talk to yourself like the crazy person you know you are, and tell yourself, "You're amazing. You're beautiful. You can do this." Encourage yourself, enlighten yourself, and keep yourself going with the second-person self-talk. :)

I've heard several times that you can't make other people happy unless you're happy too, and this is true. I know because I've also experienced it. Actually, the truth is, I was totally against that reality until I experienced it myself. But when I'm sad, I feel like someone's turned out the lights in my room and I'm running around frantically trying to locate the light switch. I'm denying my sad feelings and I want to escape them. I'm scouring the darkness for any source of light. Similarly, I'm looking for any and all sources of happiness when sadness dominates my mood. The best way to find happiness in this situation is to make other people feel happy. Forget being real for a while. Send a message to all your acquaintances along the lines of "have a good day :)." Make some cookies and deliver them to your neighbors with a little happy note attached. Smile at some people. If you give away happiness, you'll definitely get it back. Maybe someone will reply to you, telling you that you made their day. Maybe your neighbors will come to thank you in person. Maybe someone will smile back at you. And maybe all of that will make you happy again. I can't recall specific incidents, but I can say that at times when I've felt particularly unhappy and I've tried to make others happy, they returned the vibe and improved my mood. Make people happy, and they'll make you happy back :D

Until next time! :)

Mirth and Melancholy